Many parents think that depression in children is marked by sadness and tears. However, this is not always the case. In fact, this assumption can make parents overlook other more subtle signs of depression in their kids. One of the most important and often ignored signs is a change in their interests and hobbies. For example, a child who used to love playing video games may suddenly lose interest and go to bed early, or a child who used to enjoy basketball may start making excuses to skip practice. These are the signs that indicate something is wrong and need more attention than the usual crying and complaining.
When you talk to your child about depression, it may be best to avoid using the word “sadness”. Sadness is a normal emotion that everyone feels from time to time due to stress or other life events. Depression is more than that. It is a persistent and pervasive feeling of emptiness, numbness, or hopelessness. Instead of asking your child if they are sad, try using words like “empty”, “numb”, or “lost” and see how they respond. You may also ask them open-ended questions like “Do you ever feel like there are some empty feelings that come into your life?” or “Do you sometimes feel like things around you are not right?” These questions can help your child express their feelings and thoughts more easily. It is also helpful to talk about your own experiences in life that may have been difficult. For children to feel ok with opening up about their inner world, a parent may need to be comfortable with sharing their own.
Another thing you could do is start to separate your child from the problem. Don’t label your child as depressed or make them feel like they are the problem. This can make them feel more isolated and ashamed, and they may refuse to talk to you or seek help. Instead, make the problem external and create a team with your child to fight against it. For example, you can say “It seems like there is something that is making you feel this way. Let’s figure out what it is and how we can deal with it together.” You can also encourage your child to use their imagination and creativity to describe their mood and experience. For instance, they may say they feel like they are stuck under a blanket, or it is always raining in their world. You can join them in this imaginative communication and show empathy and support. You can also suggest some activities that can help them feel better, such as drawing, reading, or playing with a pet. Children don’t always need adult conversation, but they do need a parent who is both supportive and creative.
Depression in children is a serious issue that should not be ignored or dismissed. By recognizing the signs and talking to your child in a supportive and respectful way, you can help them overcome their depression and live a happier and healthier life.
However, if you are unsure about your child’s condition or you feel like you need more guidance, you should not hesitate to seek professional help. There are many mental health experts who can provide you with the best advice and treatment for your child. You can find them online, through your doctor, or through your local mental health services. Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and there is help. If you’re around the Jonesboro, Arkansas and seeking counseling services please feel free to reach out.
About the Author: Daniel Wysocki, Ed.S., is a board-certified professional in psychology with over ten years of experience providing counseling and psychological testing. Based in Jonesboro, Arkansas, he provides comprehensive services to clients of all ages, including children, teens, adults, and families.
